mr.smith is tall

OKAY so i'm done with grade fuckin 8 fucking piano. hopefully. i feel like crying! omg. i'm totally not confident about passing this exam. GAH. so yeah mr smith was my examiner. and he's like a probably nice scary tall guy. i'm so sad. okay so yeah for technique. i did my first scale well. but then he told me to play b flat minor scale. and then i was gonna play a b major formula pattern but then yeah that's not it! i played like the first few notes of the formula until yeah i asked him what it was again. and yeah after that he seemed so annoyed. i had to ask him to confirm things a few more times for other tech. shit. ah fucker. fucking arpeggios. lol. yeah so then i did my studies. the first one was good enough. the 2nd one, the super fast one sucked ass. i like blanked out. shit. and then i had to play my rep. songs. the memorized ones. gah. my first one was okay. i think. but then the 2nd song, the one worth the most marks. i fucked up there. like omg. as if! that's llike my best song! wtf i screwed that up? wahHH! but yeah i think i got at least a 10/16. but that's wishful thinking. and theeen my 3rd song was goooood. lol and that's the one that i suck at because it's so sloow. yeah good job lindsay, you didn't totally screw yourself over!and my 4th song was exceptional too i think. then ear tests. gaaah. my melody playback suuuucked. but i think i did okaay. and my intervals, i'm not so confident. i think i got a few wrong. i needed those marks! and then it was chord identifying. blah. might have got like 2 right or something. that's supposed to be the easiest thing! gah. i'm stupid. and then it was cadences. baaaah. i think the first one was plagal. i said the 2nd one was plagal. but it could have been perfect. but who knows these things? because i fucking don't. and sight reading went okay. might have got some wrong notes, i know the last one was but meh. and then yeah clapping, yeaaah i'm good at that. so at least i got 3 marks for that. so that concludes the worst day of my life.

i deserve an award for going through that trauma during my time of the month. i need my kisses.